Feminist Lit by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I thought it would be nice to start the new year reading some books that light a fire within me during a time when I'd much rather hunker down and continue staying up late doomscrolling and eating holiday treats.

These books spelled out things that have been on my mind more than ever, and in a way that was so easy to understand - and to feel understood. I especially loved the author's take on Ms. over Mrs. - I will die on that hill. Good for you if you don't mind being called Mrs. once you're married, but I don't see why the Miss/Ms./Mrs. distinction even exists, considering there is only Mr. for men. There's no need to classify people by their marriage status when you refer to them. That's why I call everyone Ms., though I will write Mrs. if I know that's what they prefer.

I also loved the discussion on clothes and toys for babies. There's no reason to have clothes for baby boys and baby girls when they wear things for a month (if you're lucky) before growing out of them anyway. I remember taking my son to a store when he was just a few months old and he was wearing a gray onesie with white stars on it. A woman in front of me in the checkout line started talking about my cute little girl and seemed offended when I said he was a boy - are gray and stars feminine? And if they are, what does it matter?

Something I'd never really thought of was the author's idea that, "if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother's rather than their father's because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically certain of is the mother." With all the arguments about two heterosexual parent households and placing blame on single mothers for being *checks notes* single mothers, I loved this concept because it made me, as a single mother raising a son with a completely absent father, feel powerful (as I should, but as society tries to make me not feel).

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I previously read this in June 2016 and noted that it didn’t seem as revolutionary as I’d expected when there was such a buzz around it. However, re-reading it, I appreciate how matter-of-fact it is. It’s accessible so everyone can (and should) read it and understand it. As the author herself says, “My own definition if a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.” That’s something we need to strive for now more than ever.

Dear Ijeawele; or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This one resonated with me a bit more than We Should All Be Feminists, perhaps because of the parenting aspect and how conscious I am now of what my son is exposed to and what he thinks is acceptable. Honestly, a lot of the advice struck me in a way that I really needed after being raised in the South and held to certain standards I was led to believe were “right.”

Some of my favorite quotes include:

"Everybody will have an opinion about what you should do, but what matters is what you want for yourself, and not what others want you to want."

"But here is a sad truth: Our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful women. [...] We judge powerful women more harshly than we judge powerful men." Oof, that one hits hard considering *gesturing around*. (The whole quote is amazing but it's a paragraph so I don't want to replicate it all here.)

"Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women."

"Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people."

"Tell her that kindness matters. Praise her when she is kind to other people. But teach her that her kindness must never be taken for granted. Tell her that she, too, deserves the kindness of others."

Best YA Fiction Read in 2019

I always enjoy looking back over the books I read in a year and grouping them into genre categories, and then ranking them. I use the star ratings on Goodreads for each individual review, but when it comes to picking my favorites, I typically just go for the ones that stuck out in my mind. Too often I hear a title or see a cover and try to remember if I read it or not, because it seems vaguely familiar but I have no clue what the story was about. Well, these are not those books. These are the books that I loved reading and that I have recommended to many others as soon as I finished the last page, and now I'm recommending them to you.

I'm including publication years because I am not one of those hip book bloggers who limits "Best of 2019" to books that were actually published in 2019 - I'm not sure I read enough of those. These are just books I happened to read in 2019. They're fairly recent, with 4/5 being from 2018 and one (already timeless story) from 2017. In YA, I know that might be a little "old", but I think these books are amazing and worth reading.

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu (2017). Viv is sick of the way boys in her high school seem to get away with everything, but she doesn't know how she can push back against it, since it's so ingrained in her small town. Inspired by her mom's Riot Grrrl history, Viv creates and anonymously distributes a feminist zine that starts a buzz in her high school.
     I cannot rave about this book enough. I keep thinking “I wish I had this when I was in high school” but honestly, it seems just as important to me as an adult. It’s inspirational, moving, and will make you feel empowered. Beautiful writing, wonderful story. Highly recommend for EVERYONE to read.

     I was thrilled to meet Mathieu at the YALSA Symposium in November. I got a signed copy of Moxie and raved about her book to her and how much it meant to me, even as an adult.

The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding (2018). This was recommended to me because I loved What If It’s Us so much, and I loved Jordi Perez even more! The story was very interesting and unique - a girl with a fashion blog and a photographer are sharing an internship at a local fashion boutique. Everything was pretty happy, even when there were problems, so I’d say it’s more of a fluff read, but it’s so easy to get into and obviously it's stuck with me since I read it, so I think it's a really good book. I thought the stuff with the sister could have been developed a bit more, and the ending felt pretty rushed, but I enjoyed it and definitely recommend it as a fun read.

The Alcatraz Escape (Book Scavenger #3) by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman (2018). My history with these books goes back to reading the first one in 2016 and it blowing me away. I was heavily engrossed in in children's and YA lit from my MLS and my public library job, and this just hit me as fresh and intriguing and engaging. I've re-read it each time a new book comes out, so I've read the first one thrice, the second one twice, and Alcatraz just once - but I can't wait to re-read the entire series (so far???) in 2020. This was seriously my go-to recommendation for kids in the public library who wanted adventure or mystery, and they always came back to tell me they loved it. I used Book Scavenger as the pick for the Upper Elementary Family Book Club this April, and everyone loved it - students and parents! I created a library scavenger hunt and the winner got a copy of book two, but I think we need to add two and three to our school library. But I digress!
     I absolutely loved this third book. Sometimes sequels and trilogies can get tired, or you can tell the author is running out of ideas. Not the case with Bertman. This book was AMAZING, and might even be my favorite of the Book Scavenger trilogy yet! I love the Alcatraz history and that twist, my goodness! PERFECTION. The best part is, the delight and satisfaction of a good book has stuck with me, but I don't remember exactly what happened, so I can't wait to read it again.

What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera (2018). Arthur and Ben meet randomly at the post office, but neither is sure if the other is flirting, and neither thinks to get contact information so they can try to find out. When they find each other again, it's got to be "meant to be", right? Except each date seems to be a disaster in a different way, and they can't seem to get on the same page.
     I loved this story about chance meetings and finding again. I loved how distinct each character was - it can be hard to remember who’s who in multiple viewpoint books, but this worked great. I’m adding the other books by these authors to my TBR, and you should too.
Girl Made of Stars by Ashley Herring Blake (2018). Mara and Owen are twins and best friends who understand each other better than anyone else. But when Owen is accused of raping his girlfriend, who also happens to be one of Mara's closest friends, Mara feels ripped apart. How could her brother do that? How could she turn her back on him because of it? Because she believes her friend - she has to - but everyone seems to expect something different from her, and she can't seem to win. But she has to stay true to herself and find out what really happened.
     I wanted to read this book because it was nominated as a YALSA’s Teens’ Top Ten title, and I’m so glad I did. This book is important and powerful and emotional. I was totally weeping by the end of it. I wish I had books like this when I was a preteen and teenager, but I’m so glad they’re available for teens now. I think everyone should read this to understand things that are going on, and know they can speak up and have empathy for others.

Furious Thing by Jenny Downham

Lex and her mother used to be close. The banded together and made the most of what they had, which wasn’t much. Until John came along. John was rich and said he loved Lex’s mom, “even though” she had a child. John himself had an older son with his wife, whom he eventually left for Lex’s mom, but not before playing a bunch of headgames. The games don’t stop once John proposes to Lex’s mom, years after they started their affair. The two even have a 6 year old daughter together, whom John dotes on. But John can hardly stand Lex, and he doesn’t hide his feelings. He treats her more like he treats her mother, the woman he is supposed to love. His abuse isn’t physical, but he lies, twists his words, withholds his affection, and is hot and cold. He starts gaslighting Lex to the extent her teachers agree she is unstable and needs medication. But Lex just wants them to see who John truly is, instead of seeing the successful architect, the brave man who took on a poor woman and her angry daughter.

This book made me angry in many ways - not because of the writing or the plot, but how realistic it was and how unfair it all is. I thought John was very realistic and his type of abuse needs to be brought to light as much as possible so people, especially teen girls who will be reading this book, are aware of the possibilities. I do hope books like this continue to be written for YA audiences so they are informed.

That being said, I  wish some of the storyline was a little clearer so the important aspects could stand out more. BEWARE OF LIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU INTEND TO READ THIS BOOK! Lex most often acted out in anger when John was arguing with her mom, so I thought it was because she was trying to get his attention away from her mother. But she acted out a time or two in school, so maybe it wasn’t that. And if it wasn’t, that’s fine, but I was unsure about why she acted out. (Please note that statement is extremely generalized - I realize mental illness was part of this story, and Downham did a wonderful job explaining how ADHD can present differently in females.) I know it could just be something mentally making Lex act that way, but the pattern almost made it seem like she was sticking up for her mom, so it was a little misleading. Then she started on medication and seemed ok? Or was she just tired of fighting? That was unclear to me as well. And the relatively happy ending didn’t sit too well for me, because the anger from earlier in the book seemed abruptly gone, even though John was still in the picture (though apparently “harmless” now?), and Lex was off medication, so I’m unsure about how that ending came about.